Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
false alarm, still single
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
