Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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