just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
