im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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