Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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