I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
