why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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