covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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