it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
