i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
