Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
