At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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