Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents