is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
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I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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