She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
