glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
