I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
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My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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