i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
