I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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