i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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