i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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