But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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