ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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