Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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