what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
