Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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