I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
