yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
