Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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