I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize