If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
