i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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