Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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