If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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