It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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