she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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