Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
