What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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