If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
