no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
