Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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