I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's never too late to be topless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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