glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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