What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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