maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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