i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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