Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
