lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
