i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
