ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize