Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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