Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
