You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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