"it" just moved
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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