wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
