The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
