Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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