At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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