And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Randomize
