# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
