white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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