He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
