Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is the high leading the old right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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