it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize