Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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