dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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