You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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